


Gone

by mumblingmaria



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Coping, F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mumblingmaria/pseuds/mumblingmaria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the Team’s sixth anniversary, but it doesn’t feel right for everyone to be celebrating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sarcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarcat/gifts).



There is a feral yell throughout the room then the sound of a plate crashing and breaking against a wall. A chair falls backwards to the ground, adding the storm of sounds. The entire hall turns to the source, eyes wide and faces in shock. Silence follows the explosion. It is eerie, unwelcoming, and unsure. There is no warmth in the hall anymore; all of it has shattered with the plate.

M’gann looks at Conner, eyes wide. He is standing at their table, shoulders heaving and his breath uneven. His eyes are unfocused, gazing ahead of him. He is almost staring at a banner hanging on a hall, now torn from a plate colliding with it. _Happy Anniversary, Team._

He realizes he is the only one standing at this point and begins to look around the room, trying to control his breathing. The eyes on him are worried, confused, angry, sad, full of pity. He clenches his fist, his teeth grinding together. Every fiber of his being is trying to regain control, but with every passing second that goal seems impossible to reach.

_Conner…_

And then he stops. He looks around the room quickly and stands up straight. He walks out of the hall with extreme focus, aware of every set of eyes on him. He can feel hers on top of them all and picks up his pace once he is clear of the eyes. He begins to wander the halls, unsure of where they will lead him, unsure of where he wants them to lead him. He is not trying to run away, he just knows he needs to be alone to breathe. 

He begins to pay attention to where his feet are taking him when trees meet his vision. He slows and realizes where he has gone. His feet continue their path forward as he tries to tell them to stop. He does not want to be here. He does not want to face the truth of the matter he was able to ignore only a few hours ago.

A few hours ago had been the team’s first mission since everything had fallen apart. Since the world was almost lost. Since he finally felt like everything he had gained in his six years had been shattered. 

He stops walking at the base. The faint glow from it shimmers across his face. It is quiet here. Solemn. He always thought it looked wrong. It is empty and cold, the complete opposite of what it should be. But that warmth and fullness had been stolen from this world, so while it looks wrong, it makes sense.

“Conner…” Her voice says again, this time out loud.

He does not turn to look at her but he can feel her presence closing in on him. She stops next to him, trying to take his hand in hers. He pulls away, taking a step forward.

He feels lost. A part of him is missing and maybe if he stands close enough to this empty shell he can get it back. He can feel M’gann’s eyes on him and realizes that it is bothering him. He hates how he can feel her worry and sadness pouring into him. It only adds to the turmoil of his own emotions. It only adds to his rage.

“Conner, please,” she tries again. She makes no movement towards him, trying to only reach out with her voice, her words. “Talk to me.”

“You’re not who I need to talk to,” he answers bluntly, not turning to look at her. He can feel her tense behind him and he knows he should feel bad about what he has said, but there is too much anger inside him to think about it. He just wants the hole to be filled.

He reaches forward and watches his hand pass through the shimmer of red. He closes his fist, as if trying to grab hold of the last remaining piece of life but it all just slips through his fingers. 

Slowly he turns to look at his friend. Her face is soft and sad. He stares at her before looking down, both hands now in tight fists. 

“You’re not who I need to talk to,” he repeats. He is not trying to get rid of her. Maybe if he repeats it over and over again the three he needs will appear and smile and talk and exist. “You’re not who I need to talk to… They aren’t here.”

“Conner… I know, I’m sorry, but you need to talk-” she starts, but is quickly cut off.

“I need to talk about it still? Yeah, you’re right, I probably do. But what good will that do? They left me here, M’gann! The one year that maybe I would need my family and they just up and leave!” he shouts. “I need them here but they aren’t! Six years ago I wasn’t a person but those three helped me become one and now I don’t know where they are!

“I lost one of my best friends and I don’t know how to deal with it. M’gann, Wally’s just gone! I have known him for literally my entire life! I’ve known him longer than you, than Clark, than almost everyone in my life. And the two people who have known me just as long AREN’T HERE!”

There is a loud cracking sound as Conner’s fist collides with a nearby tree. He is not sure when he got to the tree, it was a blur of movement for both M’gann and him. He looked down at his hand and frowned at the lack of change.

“Wally’s just gone and I’m alone. Kaldur told me he wasn’t going to be here tonight because he doesn’t think he deserves to celebrate after everything that has happened. He feels guilty about Wally and doesn’t want to have this moment without him. Dick is off somewhere, hating himself, alone, tired. He probably is trying to find a way to prove Wally isn’t lost. He’s probably deluding himself into hoping,” Conner’s voice is quiet now, he is unsure if she can even hear him anymore. She is in the same spot in front of the memorial, unmoving. Her head is not even looking towards him. 

“They left me here alone. And Wally’s just done… He died saving the world and I was left here without them. They’re both not here and I’m stuck. M’gann… I’m not changing.”

“Conner… Just because you aren’t changing on the outside doesn’t mean you aren’t changing,” she whispers, knowing he can hear her. 

“Look at my hand. I just tore a tree apart with one hit and it isn’t even scratched. How do I accept the fact I’m indestructible when one of my closest friends has died?” he asks softly. “Wally was one of the first people to promise me something. One of the first to follow through on that promise. Wally was there from the beginning. He helped give me this life and… And I didn’t help him keep his.”

Conner lifts his hand to his face, covering his eyes. He does not want to see ‘Wally’ standing there, barely existing in the world anymore, “M’gann… I have an indestructible body and Wally is just gone. M’gann, he’s just gone and I don’t know what to do anymore. When he left the team it was fine because he visited. When Artemis went undercover and he cut himself out of our lives, I still saw him, I visited him, I made sure he was a part of my life still. But now… That’s all I have of him and it’s not him.”

“Oh, Conner,” she says, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him against her. He looks up; he did not realize she had moved towards him. “I understand, maybe not exactly, but I do understand. When he… when he disappeared I felt it immediately, like a part of my mind was gone. There’s a brightness missing and it’s so hard.” 

Conner swallows and drops his head onto her shoulder, his arms wrapping around her waist, tightly. M’gann tightens her arms, as if trying to squeeze out the pain he is feeling, to show he is not alone at all.

“Why aren’t they here?” he asks. For once, Conner sounds as old as the years he has under belt.

“They’re lost like you, but you’ll find each other. Conner, they have been a part of your life from the beginning; they’ll be a part of it until the end. Don’t be angry if they need time. Just let them know you’re ready once they are,” she whispers, stroking his hair softly, “Just let them know you’re here.”

Conner brings his head up and stares into her eyes. They are full with love and warmth. He smiles softly; so faint that it could easily be missed by anyone but her, and touches his forehead to hers. She responds with a gentle smile of her own. 

“Conner, we’re going to be okay,” she whispers. 

He nods slightly, tightening their hug for a brief moment before letting go of her. She drops her hands from his neck and one finds his hand, his unchanging hand. She squeezes it, keeping her eyes on his.

“Head back without me, I’ll be right behind you,” he says, his smile steady.

M’gann opens her mouth to respond, but closes it, nodding. She gives his hand one more squeeze before letting go. He watches her float off, back to their team. Back to other people trying to live their lives after the world changed. Back to people just trying.

Conner walks to the hologram and looks up at the face. He still thinks it is wrong. The red of his hair is not bright enough. There is no smile flashing across his face, no teeth shining out. No glint in his eyes. It is muted and hollow. Looking down, Conner touches the base briefly and his smile wavering briefly. He looks back up, taking a few steps back. He stares into the unblinking eyes, his face now as stern as the hologram’s. He turns away from it to look out of one of the large windows the Watchtower has. He smiles when he sees the moon. It has always calmed him down. It has always been there, since the very beginning. He knows it will be there till the end.

As he walks away, he remembers the first promise being kept.

_“See? The moon.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I had an urge to write this because Conner and Wally’s friendship is one of my favourites on the show that got over looked a lot. So just wanted to writing a bit of how much Wally meant to Conner. I’m dedicating this to my lovely friend Cat, because I know how much their friendship means to her. Unfortunately I don’t seem know how to write anything happy anymore.


End file.
